Building Capacity by Staying Present in Discomfort

We didn’t come to Peru to chase some crazy, mind-blowing experiences to add to a bucket list. That was never the goal. What brought us back to the jungle was a much simpler, more honest reason. We came to learn how to stay with ourselves when things get uncomfortable.

It is easy to be present when you feel great and everything is clicking. The real challenge is when your body starts to tighten up, your mind goes into overdrive, and your entire nervous system just wants to react or run away. Expanding your capacity sounds like a fancy concept, but in reality, it just means being able to sit with a heavy emotion or a weird physical feeling without trying to fix it, analyze it, or ignore it. It means not shutting down when closing your heart feels like the easiest option.

Plant medicine has a way of showing you exactly where those limits are. It doesn't do it in theory, either; it shows you right there in your body. It highlights the exact moment you start to brace, lose focus, or try to control the room because you're uncomfortable.

And honestly, that is where the real work happens.

The more time we spend in these ceremonies at Nihue Rao, the more we realize that we can only hold space for others as deeply as we’ve been willing to meet ourselves. There is no shortcut around this, and there is no finish line, especially when your work involves guiding people through their own healing. You can't just understand this stuff mentally; you have to live it in your own body.

When things get intense, our default human setting is to harden up and fight it. But we are learning that the real secret is actually learning to soften. It’s about dropping your shoulders, taking a breath, and staying relaxed when everything in you wants to panic.

You don't build that capacity during the big, dramatic breakthroughs. You build it in the quiet, invisible seconds where you feel the urge to check out, but you choose to just stay right there on your mat.

At the end of the day, the more grounded and steady we can become in our own skin, the safer other people will feel around us. When we choose not to abandon ourselves when things get heavy, we create a real sense of safety for the people we lead. It all starts with how we show up for ourselves right here.